my mask.

i smile 

i frown

i cry

i laugh

but i'm blank inside...

am i wearing some form of a mask?

i feel weird like dead inside.

i don't feel like i belong here anymore.

what is going on with me?

i started to discover what i wanted in life.

my goals, my dreams.

but now none of it matters anymore.

i just want to either drink all my pain away, or take all these pills and never wake up.

i'm not depressed.

i'm not lonely.

i'm not scared.

i'm not mad.

i'm not happy.

i'm just numb, so comfortable numb.

i don't know how to feel anymore, about anything or anyone.

so for now i wear this mask.

wishing i could change the past.

missing that happy girl i once knew.

i need to fix this, me...

i can't do this anymore.

i need to tear off this mask and face myself, and realize i'm better than this...

but how is the question i so desire dear in my heart.

-Sharon June.